Life.Of.Sin

Andie and I just had phone sex!!!

Well ... kinda.  I masturbated and she ... listened.  It was rather funny at first.  She interrupted me while I was reading porn and doing it.  And then she called me on it.  And then she said I could keep going, so I did and then I stopped because she said something weird.

So then I went upstairs and started.  Then I came downstairs and finished.  It took forever.  Watching porn does not work anymore.  I have to read it.

So then I finished and I think I sounded like a total idiot but Andie says I didn't.  It was all me whimpering and breathing heavy and I managed to sneak her name out once and when I do it by myself I can usually say her name and 'angel' [my nickname for her] quite a bit.

She made me nervous.

-blushes-

[Mainly about stories on GSB and Fandomination.net, but it can apply anywhere.]

Not all of them are bad.  But, lots of them are.  Like, on here they say they have people who go through your stories and won't allow them to pass if you can't spell or they aren't properly formatted or whatnot.  Well, that's fucking bullshit.  Half the stories I read [or try to read for about two seconds and then give up because of the shittiness] aren't formatted, the writer can't spell, can't use proper grammar, and basically can't fucking write for shit.

On Fandomination.net there really is no code or anything.  They won't proofread your story.  But they're just as fucking bad, if not worse.  Because at least on here you don't have to read one of the worst sex scenes in the world because sex stories aren't allowed.

But I mean, fuck people.

If you can't write ... don't fucking write.

...

[I received a response.]

Oh Shut Up =]
Dont Be So Mean.
People Try. Isnt That What Counts?
Maybe They Just Like Writing Them And Are Proud Of Them.
MAYBE You Just Dont Like Their Storylines Or Their Plots.
Heh.
Just Wondering.

My response: 

It's not just storylines and plots! God, don't you understand what the FUCK I'm trying to say?!

Writing, formatting, grammar. God, getting fucking Microsoft Word or a god damn beta to at least PROOFREAD the motherfucker before you put it out on the internet to blind people like me who actually understand the meaning of words like 'apostrophe' and 'contraction'.

My girlfriend's listening to Britney Spears and admitting you like it.  Right now she's playing with a fucking needle and I'm telling her know and she's telling me she's dominant and I can't be.

-eye roll-

One time making me nearly beg and she's a total ... sadist is the wrong word.  I guess she just gets off on dominating me.  It's weird though.  Because most of the daydreams I had about her she was dominant.  But she's so sweet the rest of the time.  She's my angel.  But not when she gets going.

I mentioned that the first daydream I ever had about her was me pretending she was listening to me getting myself off on the phone.  And she's like: That's not that bad of any idea ... or something to that effect.

And my jaw literally dropped.

She's fucking surprising, that girl.  Never take anything for granted.  She told me once that most things wouldn't freak her out, but I thought she meant emotional shit, not sexual shit.

Well, damn.

<333

I swear to God, seriously.  Not only did I write a story about a girl masturbating today, but I did it four fucking times! 

12:30 AM [best guess] as soon as I got off the phone with Andie.

11:00 AM [I was bored]

3:00 PM [I was writing said story and had to make sure I was explaining it accurately]

6:45 PM [I had time to kill before I called Andie]

And I probably will again tonight.

I am such a whore.

-giggle-

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Adrienne Nesser, aka Dru

Dude, that was fucking intense to say the least.  I can post what it is on this blog because the only person I really know who comes here is her.

But ... whoa.

Apparently my girlfriend has a little bit of a kinky streak for domination.

Which she demonstrated last night on the computer.

And almost demonstrated on the phone.  [She thought I was finished and I so wasn't.]  :(

But ... whoa.

<333

Luvverzz,
Druscilla, aka Mrs. Adrienne Armstrong

Why do they always leave me?  Why do people always leave?  And they do it so quickly.  Just one day they're there and the next they're gone.  And they're supposed to be there!  They're not supposed to leave.  And it's not like she was even a really good friend.  But she got me all my really good friends.  I know her.  She's not supposed to leave.

But THEY were good friends.  They were my best friends and they all left me, too.  Now I don't even know who they are anymore.  They just disappeared.  I know their email addresses and that's basically it.  They used to be my best friends and now they're reduced to email addresses.

And my family?  My so-called family?  I lived with them since I was in 1st grade and now what?  I saw my dad on the 21st of May and the time before that was the day before Thanksgiving.  And the last time I saw my stepmom before the 20th it was fucking SUMMER.

They leave.  They just leave.

They go away and they don't come back.

Sometimes I think it's worse than death.  Because when people die you know they're not coming back.  But when people leave you then you hang onto the chance that they MIGHT, they just MIGHT, come back.  Even though you know it won't happen, you have that stupid pathetic hope in the back of your head.

And maybe ... maybe if you change.  Or change what made them leave.  Maybe if you change they'll come back.  Maybe ... I don't know.

But ... THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LEAVE!

They're not supposed to leave me.  Why do they leave me?

Do people really not understand why I'm so fucking afraid of them?  I mean does it take a fucking rocket scientist to figure it out?  I'm afraid of you not being there.  Sometimes I feel stupid that I even took the chance.

I mean ... what's the point of investing yourself into something that can be taken away in a second?

What's the point?

Why's it matter?

Who cares anymore?

No one.

I hate them.

I hate them for leaving me.

I hate them.

For anyone who's reading my story "How We Stay Here (or Waiting)", I've just posted Part Eight: Aftermath Isn't 2 + 2.

You can get to it on the Livejournal community Coming Clean through this link.  [You do not need an LJ account to read or review.]

http://community.livejournal.com/comingclean/1361038.html

Now I'm off to clean the kitchen before I go to bed.  It's 5:13 AM here.

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Adrienne Armstrong, aka Dru

Talked to a friend of mine from middle school/early years of high school yesterday.  She was dating a guy and they were heaving into drugs, then she found out she was pregnant.  Now she's three months along and expecting a boy.  Things like that ... just weird to me.

And my sister's a stupid bitch.  Our cat Oreo has friends and I 'met' them yesterday and there's a really pretty girl cat.  She was near the door when me and Tori came back from the story.  So I said 'that can't needs a name.  I'm going to call her Greeny because she has green eyes'.  And Tori glared at me and went 'she's named Momma.  I already named her.'

And I told her it didn't even matter because the cat wasn't ours.

Thirteen year old bitch.  I dread the years to come.