Okay, just to let you know the blog wipes out the last few things when they get older and there’s too much room, but every single post is in the “Life.Of.Sin.” category on the side of the page. And the pics are in my galleries.
Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru
I love those quizzes you get in the email that ask you all sorts of questions. Here’s 200 questions and my answers.
1. Your Full name: Druscilla Ryan
2. Do you feel like your name fits you? Considering I picked it, yes.
3. Do you have an alter ego? If so, what is his/her name? Alter ego? Would Druscilla be consider my alter ego? It’s not the name I was born with.
4. Where were you born? Clarinda, IA
5. Where do you live? Peru, NE
6. Do you like to travel? I love travelling. Cali, especially. It was my favorite place to visit.
7. What is your birthday? May 18, 1987 (Friday, I think)
8. Do you have siblings? Derek, Josh, Cody, and Tori
9. Do you have pets? A fat ass cat named Oreo, but he’s more my sister’s than mine.
10. Which was the happiest year of your life? Senior year, which was last year. 2004-2005. I just had so much fun with my friends and being on the medication really helped me out. Sure there were times I just wanted to fucking kill my parents, but it was still the best time of my life.
11. How old do you wish you were? 24
12. A movie is being made about your life. Who would you cast to play yourself? Myself . . . but if I can’t play myself then I would choose either Marilyn (if I can bring someone back from the dead) or Maggie Gyllenhaal.
13. Who would you cast to play your significant other? (if you have no significant other, cast someone anyway) Heh…I bet you all can guess this one, but I’ll say it anyway since I have no significant other. Billie Joe, but only if I’m playing myself. If not, then I want Gerard Way.
14. How would this movie end? Stupid cliche Hollywood ending. Living happily ever after with loads of cash, a baby on the way, and a lying white wedding.
15. Is it better to be famous or infamous? Both . . . whatever gets me there. Infamous is controversial, so that’s awesome. I’d rather be controversial than be a goody two-shoes.
16. Youre going to die a natural death. What is the cause? Natural? Ummm … I guess I’ll die in my sleep of a painless heart attack. I don’t want to die a natural death.
17. Youre going to die a sudden, tragic death. What is the cause? Easy . . . suicide. Slitting of the wrists and a cocaine high. It’s how I’d like to be remembered . . . a big dramatic ending of the life.
18. How long do you plan on living? Until my kids graduate school and I get to see at least one of my kids get married. So, I guess my fifties or sixties.
19. What was the last song you got stuck in your head? Mr. Brightside by the Killers
20. Sing any commercial jingle. Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner . . . that is what I’d truly like to be . . . because if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner . . . everyone would be in love with me.
21. What is your favourite element on the periodic table? Neon because that’s hot.
22. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset. I like the darkness and if I’m watching the sunrise I’m going to be pissed off for being up so early.
23. Introvert or extrovert? Extovert.
24. Creation or evolution? Both.
25.Action or reaction? Reaction.
26. Unity or individuality? Individuality.
27. Hugs or drugs? What kind of drugs? I guess drugs because I like to drink and I think cocaine’s romantic.
28. Animal, vegetable, or mineral? Vegetable . . . what the fuck kind of question is that?
29. Popsicle, creamcicle, or fudgecicle? Popsicle, dammit. Strawberry.
30. Fight or flight? Fight, damn you!
31. Who is your favourite historical figure? Does Marilyn Monroe count? If not, Princess Di.
32. Which historical figure could we have done without? George W. Bush
33. What happened in the last dream you remember? I had sex.
34. Do nice guys really finish last? Green Day says so, so yes. And in all honesty, yes. Nice guys are so easy to manipulate because they’re nice.
35. What are your favourite boy names? Hasin, Hayden, Xander, Billie Joe (no really, it’s a cool name), Gerard
36. What are your favourite girl names? Marguerite Cathleen, Mercedes Chardonnay, Esra Ypres, Georgia Anne, Alaska June, Juniper, Jupiter, Xavier, August, Maggie
37. Open or closed? Closed
38. White bread or wheat bread? White
39. Is it better to burn out than to fade away? Yes . . . your burnt out can be remembered. Fading away is just like a slow death.
40. You put a quarter into a toy machine. What comes out? Tattoo.
41.What do you want to be when you grow up? A star.
42. What were your favourite childhood toys? Glow worm.
43. What was your first pet? I can’t remember exactly. It was either Duke the dog or one of our cats. We had a shitload.
44. What annoys you? Stupid people, conservatives, annoying people
45. What is your favourite action caption from the old batman tv show? (example. “pow” or “blam”) Sorry, can’t remember.
46. How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie pop? None. Just bite the fucker.
47. The glass… half empty or half full? I don’t know. I just drink it.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON
48. Tightie whities. Ewww…wear boxers or nothing.
49. Mc Donalds happy meals. I like them. You get cute little toys and they’re good if you’re not all that hungry.
50. Reality shows. I don’t watch a lot of them, but I like ‘Fear Factor’ and the first episodes of ‘American Idol’. I think there’s too much, but there are some good shows.
51. Gummi bears or gummi worms? Worms.
52.Would you rather sky dive or deep sea dive? Sky dive. I have a fear of drowning.
53. Paper or plastic? Plastic.
54. What position do you sleep in? On my stomach or on my side. And I either have to be facing a wall (back of the couch, whatever) or with my back against it. It makes me feel safe and I can pretend some guy’s behind me.
55. Do you sleep on the left, right, or the middle of the bed? Against the wall or middle if that’s not an option.
56. Sweet or sour? Sour.
57. What was your favourite after school special? Special? Let’s change that to TV show. Well, it used to be Barney, but that shit got old. Then it was the Power Rangers. In high school it was The Nanny.
58.What is your favourite word? Fuck, right now at least.
59. Beach or mountains? Beach . . . I love the ocean.
60. Mounds or almond joy? Almond Joy
61. Do YOU feel like a nut? Yup!
62. To give or to recieve? Both, but I like giving. Then, again, I like recieving.
63. Chocolate or caramel? Caramel
64. Do you have any nicknames? Dru
65. What does your name mean? Druscilla means “strong” and Ryan means “little king” which is hilarious because I’m not a guy.
66. Have you ever fainted? Nope.
67.Have you ever had a crush on a school teacher? Oh, yes. My art teacher had the best ass in the school.
68.What was the last thing you ate? Sausages.
69.Do you have any bad habits? Biting my nails and procrastination.
WORD ASSOCIATION
what is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear…
70. Grey…Sky Morning
71. Human…Bean
72. Fruit loop…Gay
73. Glove…Condom
74. Plum…Cherry
75. Structure…Bridge
76. Race…Rat (rat race)
77. Heart…beat
78. Parasite…Leech
79. What was your first happy memory? Hitting charcoal off of the balcony with one of those huge plastic Playskool bats that’s bright red. We broke someone’s windshield. I was about three.
80. What was your first unhappy memory? Ummm…I repressed a lot of them. I guess when I ran away from home and I was five, but I got as far as across the street and I tried to steal a sleeping bag from our van and my mom caught me.
81. If you could visit any time period, what would it be? I know it sounds so lame, but I’d love to either visit the 80’s or the 60’s.
82.What would jesus do? Not fucking hate people, that’s what.
83. Make up a word and define it. Doodlesnorkicks. It means “cigarette ashes”.
84.Favourite kool aid flavour? Eww…I hate Kool-Aid. Pink lemonade, I guess.
85. Favourite pick up line? “I’m on a liquid diet and I’m hungry.”
86. Who was the third gunman on the grassy knoll? What the fuck?
87. What did you like to make believe as a child? I remember make believing the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe because I had a wardrobe in my room and the Lion would put on this tazmanian devil mask and I was always the witch and the oldest girl. It was fun.
88. Did you have an immaginary friend? Yes. And I knew it sounds weird, but sunspots were my imaginary friends.
89. Would you like to live in a castle or a mansion? Mansion.
90. Re-arrange some of the letters in your first, middle, and last name to form a description of yourself. “Silly” and “drain” like ‘I drain you of energy’.
91. Do it fast or do it right? Fast. You’ve got a long time to work on getting stuff right later.
92.What was the last book you read? “Weetzie Bat” by Francesca Lia Block or “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis. I can’t remember the order.
93. Have you ever had surgery? No.
94. Random fact about you…… I masturbated this morning.
95. What is the first thing you wash in the shower? Hair.
96. What is your favourite cereal? Corn Pops
97. If you could learn any foreign language, what would it be? Latin
98. If you had the choice to live forever, would you? I don’t know. Probably not. I don’t want to see my kids die.
99. If you had the choice to be the opposite sex for a day, would you? Hell yes. And I would totally go fuck a whole shitload of guys, too.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
100. Fate? Only to a certain extent. I do believe we have the ability to control certain parts of our destiny. I think where we happened to be born and where we happen to end up are chances of fate. I think you also make your own.
101. Ghosts? Yes.
102. God? (Read the post below this one)
103. Big foot? Oh, yeah. Bigfoot kicks ass.
104. Soul mates? Yes, but I don’t believe they have to be romantic. I think they just complete you, like Plato said, that whole thing about one soul dwelling within two bodies. I think that your total and complete best friend can be your soul mate.
105.Aliens? Oh, yeah. I was addicted to X-Files as a kid.
106.Angels? Yes. (Read below post to find out who they are)
107. Loch ness monster? Yes. I don’t care if they claimed Nessie was a fake. She’s just too cool to not be real. Sometimes it’s better to be stupid and believe.
108. Heaven and hell? Yes, but I don’t think they’re like the Bible says. And I think only really really bad people like Hitler and George W. Bush go to hell. I don’t think you have to be a certain religion to get to heaven. What’s the fucking point?
109. The Zodiac? A little bit.
110. Love at first sight? One hundred percent.
111. Karma? No.
112.Vampires? Heh…they’re too cool not to believe in.
113. If you had any super power, what would it be? The underated power of seduction, get any man I want. I could have fun with that.
114. Would you use your power for good or evil? A little bit of both…more naughty than evil though. 
115. Name something nostalgic. Rubix Cube
116. What are your turn ons in the opposite sex? Dark haired, pale skinned, thin, tall, poet looking guy that seems about to overdose on heroin…
117. What are your turn offs in the opposite sex? Cocky, major conservative, idiot, clingy
118. What was the best compliment ever given to you? My teacher told me I was the best creative writer she’d ever seen in all her years of teaching (and that’s awhile).
119. Which character from Scooby Doo do you most relate to? Shaggy…I don’t know why…he’s just fucking cool.
120. What is the worst trend of the present time? Hip Hop.
121. Beer or wine? I hate both, but I’d rather have wine. (Can I get a wine cooler?)
123. You cant sleep. What do you do? I don’t sleep. It’s quite normal for me to not be able to sleep.
124. Do you wear jewelry? Yup. Bracelets and wristbands and shit.
125. What is your favourite smell? Rain.
126. What was the best decade of the past century? 90s
127. Which is your favourite month of the year? May…
128. Do you smoke? I quit in July.
129. Do you drink? Yes.
130. What was your favourite subject in school? English
131. What was your worst subject in school? Math
132. If you had to give up one of your senses, what would it be? Smell…had to write a huge fucking paper on that.
133. Do you follow your head, your heart, or your crotch? A little of all, but mostly my heart.
134. Do you truely know who you are? Yes, I’m Druscilla Ryan. Punk princess dying for that fucking chance.
135. Are you superstitious? A bit.
136. Are you sentimental? Oh fuck yes.
137. How many times a day do you eat? In my current phase, about twice.
138. Are you more of a main idea or detail type of person? Main idea.
139. What is your favourite pie? Pumpkin
140. Have you ever been close to death? I drove through a fire. Does that count?
141. Do you like roller coasters? Roller coasters are the shit!
142. Apples or oranges? Oranges. Apples make me sick.
143. Are you hyperactive? Yup!
144. Do you talk in your sleep? I’ve been told I do.
145. What is your favourite holiday? Christmas.
146. Do you go to church? No.
147. At what age do you think you will be married? Never.
148. If you could open up your own business, what would it be? Production studio for movies and movie soundtracks. We could also edit the music videos I direct there, and my reality TV show.
149. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? My first boyfriend was in kindergarten and I don’t remember, but my first ‘real’ boyfriend was Brandon.
150. What is your weakness? Grief…sadness…if I see a baby bird that fell out of it’s nest or an egg on the sidewalk I cry.
151. What was the last movie you saw that made you cry? “Interview with the Vampire”
152. If love were a flavour, which flavour would it be? The way that snow tasted when you were a kid.
153. If hate were a flavour, which flavour would it be? Heartburn.
154. Have you ever been prescribed any drugs? Which ones? Yup. There’s been a lot. I can’t remember all of them: Remeron, Limictol, Xyprexa, Paxil, Depacote . . .
155. Is lying sometimes necessary? Oh, yeah.
156. Bubbleyum or bubblicious? Bubblicious.
157. What is your favourite curse word? Fuck.
158. Do you have any birthmarks? Nope. Just a couple little moles.
159. If you could visit anywhere in the US, where would it be? NYC
160. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be? London
162. Do you feel like your physical self matches your personality? Yeah…I can match my physical self to my personality.
163. What was the name of your kindergarten teacher? I don’t remember. I had three.
164. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Both.
165. How tall are you? five feet two inches
166. How tall would you like to be? Five foot six inches
167. Your current mood: Tired
168. Do you dress up for halloween? Yes…this year I’m going to be a slut, last year I was a prostitute.
169. Have you ever been in a car accident? No.
170. What is your favourite lucky charm? Rainbows.
171. What colour of underwear are you wearing? Gray, red, and black…they’re striped.
172. Do you tend to date people younger or older than you? Younger…but there’s been a couple older.
173. Do your exes look alike? No…well, I guess most of them have dark hair.
174. Do your exes act alike? No.
175. Have you ever been in love? Yes.
176. What is your favourite kids movie? The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty
177. Have you ever hallucinated? No…well, maybe…once I thought I heard mice crawling everywhere, but I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours.
178. What do you like most about the opposite sex? Their viewpoints.
179. What do you hate most about the opposite sex? Macho dick syndrome.
180. Have you ever been on a blind date? No.
181. Would you want to be cloned? Yes.
182. Have you ever peed in public? Yes.
183. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Realist with quite a bit of optimism.
184. How did you find out that there was no santa claus? I asked my parents.
185. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles.
186. Are you on a diet? No.
187. Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Because the neighbors water their lawn whereas I’m just lazy.
188. Do you always want what you cant have? Hell yeah.
189. Do you act stupid around someone you have a crush on? Sometimes my flirting gets a bit out of hand.
190. Have you ever been arrested? No, thank God.
191. Can you cook? Yessir.
192. Do you think its wrong/weird if a girl asks a guy out? Hell no, that’s how I got most of my boyfriends.
193. Do you have any allergies? No.
194. Ketchup or catsup? Ketchup.
195. Do you believe there is a meaning to life? If so, what is it? Yes. The meaning of life is to discover yourself, what you want, and get it.
196. What do you think about before you fall asleep? Whoever I’m crushing on and sometimes a story.
197.What are your thoughts on the nature of good and evil? We’re all born knowing just good and then society fucks us up and we learn about evil. And we’re all born being good and evil we just have acknowledged the evil part of ourselves yet.
198. Step into your cave. There you will find your power animal. What kind of animal is it? Unicorn!
199.What does your power animal say to you? I thought you said you would never do pot. Animals don’t talk, idiot.
200. End this survey with a quote: “I’m not gonna say anything inspirational, I’m just gonna fucking swear a lot.” -Billie Joe Armstrong
Okay, so I’ll admit it. I do believe in the Christian god. But I don’t worship him. I think he’s kind of a dick. I mean, he kills innocent babies and innocent people because they’re from another country. He says “Love thy neighbor as thyself” and then tells you to kill your neighbor. And then there’s all the pro-life shit, but they forget that their God kills babies.
So, my religion. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I believe in a higher power besides our dick Christian dude. I don’t give this higher power a name. Why should I? Everyone hates their name anyway. I don’t know yet if this power is like that thing inside of you that’s your soul and it’s derived from that or if it’s a person in the sky watching everything. The bible does say that “God” is the God of gods, implying there is more than one. And “you shall have no other gods before me” kind of hints that there’s something else. It makes you wonder if God’s trying to compensate for having a small dick or something.
I think I kind of worship both people and art. I mean, Marilyn Monroe is enough of a goddess for me. Poets are like the choir of angels, along with rock gods. Then I guess you have your scales. Francesca Lia Block is one of my archangels. Who says I can’t worship humans? They create more than some stupid shithead entity anyway. And they live forever. Just look at Marilyn.
I figure if Christians can steal Paganism and make up a religion, I can steal Hollywood, the music world, and the written word and make my own little religion.
So far I think it goes something like this:
Goddess-Marilyn Monroe
Archangels-Francesca Lia Block, Billie Joe Armstrong, Twiggy, Shakespeare, Gerard Way
Angels-Tim Burton, Edgar Allen Poe, Emily Dickinson, Princess Diana, Paris Hilton
Prophets-Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Killers, Michael Moore
Devil (for lack of a better term)-George W. Bush & the Christian diety
Demons: Radical pro-lifers, most Republicans, George Bush Sr., Dick Cheney
There’s my religion. It’s something I think. I don’t like sit down and pray to Marilyn everyday. I kind of sit down and pray to be Marilyn everyday. I strive to be Marilyn, you know like striving to be perfect. And then I kind of look to the archangels for inspiration and a point in the right direction. The angels are a quick sort of release. The prophets are there to reassure me. The devil is going down and the demons are sort of a release; I can taunt them.
Wow. I made a religion. It’s got to have a name. I’m going to call it Inspirationism because it’s all about inspiration and aspiration. Like all the angels and shit inspire me and that aspires me to find innocence again and become Marilyn.
I am so fucking philosopically genius.
Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru (who’s going to brag)
“Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church.”
Review of my newly burnt “American Idiot” CD
I love it. It’s awesome. I love “The Waiting”. The lines are like: “Are we we are, are we we are/The waiting unknown.” And Billie Joe wrote most of the songs. He is so . . . talented and the whole poet thing that I love is just there.
I also like that whole:
“Nobody likes you,
Everyone left you,
They’re all out without you,
Havin’ fun.” (Nobody Likes You)
I picked out my outfit tomorrow. Damn am I a slut? Nets, a super short miniskirt, this fucking suction tight top . . . and I’m considering my hooker boots. Damn I am one slutty bitch, aren’t I? Funny though, because I’m a V-I-R-G-I-N.
I’m still working on “2 Singers . . .” and I wrote “The Bigger Sad” yesterday. No new poems yet, but that’s just a matter of inspiration. I’m sure I’ll write more this weekend.
We’re going up to a friend’s this weekend. He’s house-sitting and they have a pool, two big screens, to regular/large TVs, and we’re making shrimp kabobs. Plus we go to the mall everytime we’re there and they have a Hot Topic (favorite store).
Anyway, it’s late. Well, not really, but it seems late. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. So I think I’ll shimmy out of tomorrow’s clothes, get naked, take a shower, slip into a shirt and a pair of undies, and hit the sack. But I’ll probably add a couple more paragraphs to “2 Singers . . .” first. My sister’s addicted and bitchy.
Oh, and the new chapter is called “80 MPH Kisses”. I love it. So hot. See, he keeps trying to kiss her in the car and he’s going 80, and she keeps dodging “80 mph kisses”. So so cute and hot and all that shit in one.
Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru
