Lucky Charms, Shrinks, and Jobs
I am sitting in front of the computer eating Lucky Charms instead of cleaning the house like my mother hinted at. Why? Because I don’t want to clean the house. I can’t play my music because my sister is sleeping, so I figure I might as well update my blog and eat Lucky Charms. At least I’m eating, right?
In about an hour I’m going to call my dad. Oh, and I called the doctor’s office and made an appointment for Friday and 9:20 in the a.m. My sister has volleyball practice, so we’ll already be in Auburn at nine to pick her up.
Did I ever mention that getting a new doctor makes me really nervous? Especially when I’m going to this doctor to get a referal to a counselor because I have a fear of commitment and men?! ‘Hello, I have a fear of intimacy with men, will you refer me?’
They’re going to want my history. It’s just weird because I’ve changed so much. Five months ago I had blonde hair and my biggest fixation was my next cigarette and Harry Potter. Three months ago I was desperately trying to distance myself from Dad and DiAnn by getting tattoos, smoking, and listening to ‘Helena’ really loud.
Now, I’m a punk. A punk who likes rock music, needs new fishnets, no longer smokes, has considered pot, has been drunk once, wants to get laid and can’t, has phone sex, and masturbates constantly. (Actually, I’ve been masturbating constantly since I was fifteen, so . . .)
I was supposed to put in job applications today, but I thought about it. Who’s going to hire someone that looks like me? Apparently I can’t work at our sadass grocery store or the bars. All that’s left is this little resteraunt and Casey’s. At least in walking distance.
This blog is so therapeutic for me. I can bitch and bitch and bitch.
It’s also great to know people actually read this now. I get comments and I’m all smiles through my lipliner. So, I need to say thanks to everyone who commented, even that bitch Katie (she inspired two posts, after all).
Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe/Gerard Way, aka Dru
