Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Oh well. I wasn’t using my civil liberties anyway.

We just got the new Northern Sun magazine.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s a magazine with bumper stickers and tee shirts and things for liberals.  Their slogan is “products for progressives”.

They always have really good stuff.  So, once again, I’m going to share whether you want me to or not. 

God bless the whole word.  No exceptions.

“Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.”  -Jimi Hendrix

“The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round.  For I have seen the shadow of the moon and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church.”  -Magellan

God was my copilot . . . but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  -Ghandi

If the definition of beautiful gets any thinner no one will fit.  (And all the words are in this white box, but the ‘it’ in ‘fit’ doesn’t fit in the box.)

Ladies sewing circle and terrorist society.

“Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.”  -Rev. Pat Robertson  (1992, GOP convention)

Feminist chicks dig me.

“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.”  -Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

Sorry I missed church, I’ve been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes!”  -Maggie Kuhn

Don’t assume I cook!

“The people who cast the votes decide nothing.  The people who count the votes decide everything.”  -Josef Stalin

I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed individuals can change the world.  Indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.”  -Margaret Mead

Freedom is not free.

Homeland security.  “Fighting terrorism since 1492.”  (A picture of Native Americans is on the shirt.)

I love my country . . . but I think we should start seeing other people.

no child is born a racist

HUMANS aren’t the only species on earth . . . we just act like it.

Support your right to arm bears.

Don’t assume I fix things.

Lord, help me to be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.

Artists make lousy slaves.

Assist airport security . . . fly naked!

Don’t make me release the flying monkeys.

Nuke a godless communist gay baby seal for Christ.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  -Ben Franklin

Over 25% of human genes are the same as those of a banana.  Get over yourself!

What if the HOKEY POKEY is what it’s all about?

FREE SPEECH!  Take it back!

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

If you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention.

Land of the Free*.  (*Void where prohibited.  Some restrictions apply.)

It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.

BILL OF RIGHTS.  1791-2001.  Slain by the Patriot Act.  Rest in pieces.  (on a gravestone)

“A patriot must be ready to defend his country against his government.”  -Edward Abbey

ARMY.  Be all you’re told to be.

Somewhere in Texas there’s a village missing an idiot.

(Tee-shirt front) “I made it clear to the world, that either you’re with us or you’re with the enemy.”  -George W. Bush 
{Tee-shirt back} ENEMY

He’s NOT my President!

Eaten tainted meat
Breathe poison air
Drink nasty water
Help only yourself
VOTE REPUBLICAN!

Canada looks better everyday.

“I should be able to love my country and still love justice.”  -Albert Camus

got democracy?

Oh well.  I wasn’t using my civil liberties anyway.

Mommy, when I grow up I want to help smash the white racist, homphobic, patriarchal, bullshit paradigm too!

Oh no, not another learning experience.

. . . and what difference do YOU make?

God Bless the Freaks.

Get involved . . . the world is run by those who show up.

Drive carefully: 90% of all people are caused by accidents.

Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.

And I don’t want to type anymore right now.

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru

Posted by Dru at 16:38:28 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Dizzy Up the Girl

Oh yeah.  I forgot to mention that I’m supposed to be going to the doctor today for my dizzy spells.  They’ve been really bad lately.  I kind of feel naseous.  And I know I’m not pregnant.  Unfortunately, I know this for a fact.  >.<

I really need to get laid.

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru, aka the sad virgin

Posted by Dru at 14:36:34 | Permalink | No Comments »

Being Up at Six AM should be fucking ILLEGAL!!!

This is the earliest I’ve been up in a LONG time.  Some girl knocked on the door at 7:30 in the fucking morning looking for my sister and I had already been up since 6:00 (if you’re not home, don’t leave you alarm clock on) trying to get back to sleep.

So I got online and bitched about people thinking I hopped on the Green Day bandwagon just because I was so young when their first albums came out, so obviously I was listening to them.  Grrrr . . .

But then I looked at pictures of Billie Joe masturbating as his concerts and felt much better.  And I listened to someone bitch about how wrong it was because kids in the audience might see.  Hello?  Why the fuck are little kids going to a Green Day concert.  If their parents are okay with the lyrical content . . .  X_x

I’m going to class today.  Starts at 9:15 so I’ll try and drag myself into the shower by 8:30.  I got a shitload of new clothes cleaning out the closet yesterday (as I stated previously) so I’m throwing together a new outfit.  Yay . . .

My life sucks ass so bad.  It’s so boring.  Bleh . . .

I also listened to people bitch about how slash is so wrong the past few days.  Grrr . . . They said that slash containing Billie Joe is sick and disgusting and all that shit.  Hello?  Bisexual?  I posted his quote about being a bisexual in my sig on the Billie Joe forums along with two pictures of him kissing guys and changed my avatar to him kissing a guy.  (It’s the same one I have above my profile.)

I just think it’s dumb to bitch about slash when the guy you’re discussing is, in fact, a bisexual and kisses guys at all his concerts.  Errr . . . duh.

I went to bed soooooo early last night.  Around nine and my mom came home and I was trying to sleep and she left again and I was asleep by the time she got back.  But then I woke up at 12:30 and I had a hard time getting back to sleep.

But it’s okay because I got a good idea for another fic.  ::BIG SMILES::

What do you guys think of the idea of safety pins for earrings?  I think that might be cool.  I’ll have to try it today or tomorrow (depending on how many safety pins I find) and let you know.

I’m gonna go shower early and pick out my outfit.  Maybe I’ll even do my hair (or just wear a baseball cap). 

I think I have a quiz on ‘Frankenstein’ today and I didn’t read the book or finish the movie.  Not the best idea in the world.  ::wince::  Maybe I’ll get online and read an overview or something before class.

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru

Posted by Dru at 14:28:45 | Permalink | No Comments »

You’re so beautiful . . . a beautiful fucked-up man.

We cleaned today.  Went through a shitload of clothes.  Now I have more clothes than I did when I started cleaning.  I don’t think that was supposed to happen.

I’ve decided to abduct my stepdad’s TV.  You know how often Green Day’s going to be on TV this month: Jesus of Suburbia music video premiere, an hour of Bullet in a Bible, and the European MTV VMA’s.  Jesus, that’s a lot.

It sucks ass not having cable. 

Oh . . . and I wanted to thank everyone who comments on this blog.  It’s really great to know people are reading it.  I even want to thank the people I bitchslap because it gives me something to do.  Keep sending me comments.  I’m such a comment whore. 

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru

Posted by Dru at 02:08:35 | Permalink | No Comments »

You walk around oblivious to everything

Written by: Franchesca Hernandez a.k.a Helena Way

This website would be so much better if it had “WAY” more pictures of gerard way, my husband

Errr . . . bad play on words for starters.  Secondly, didn’t you notice my signature is Mrs. Gerard Way?  Actually, that was just a brief teenie moment.

You’re lucky I’m not bitch slapping you for you bad choice on words and that other comment about Gerard being in bed with you last night and saying my ‘website’ (this is a blog) would be better . . .

Grrrrrr . . .

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe/Gerard Way, aka Dru, aka stupid fucking teenyboppers (can’t you be obsessed without the whole teeny thing . . . most people on here are quite good at it)

Posted by Dru at 00:07:59 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

A Story (Because I Can)

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own them and I don’t know them and I make no money.
 
A/N: Okay, so this is the most fucked up story of all time, but I wanted to write it really really badly and I know I’ll get lots of reviews/flames saying how fucked up it is, but I just HAD TO!
 
Mom and Dad will NEVER Understand
 
Month One
 
I am a mass of cells.  This really sucks.  Seriously, I’m just a mass of cells.  I’m floating around and it’s not the funnest part of life being stuck inside your mom.  Especially when she doesn’t know I’m here and her and Dad keep having sex.  Talk about scarred for life.  I’m going to throw up on him as soon as I come out.
 
—
 
Mom and Dad are getting married today.  They don’t know that their first son is at the wedding.  Kind of funny.  I’ll have to tease them about that once I learn to talk.  Oh, great.  That means there’s a honeymoon tonight, isn’t there?
 
—
 
Mom found out she was pregnant.  Dad screamed.  Then he hugged her.  Then they had sex.  Don’t they know that’s how they got into this situation to start with?
 
Month Two
 
I’m getting a face.  It’s weird not having a face.  Really weird.  But I have arms and legs now.  Not that I can do anything with them.  Weird.  And I have seven months to go.
 
Dad’s been singing to me.  God that’s got to be weird.  Singing to Mom’s stomach.  And he keeps singing songs that make Mom hit him.  Cuss words.  Dad doesn’t think I understand what they mean.  He thinks I’m stupid.
 
I think my first word is going to be ‘fuck’ just to prove to him I’m not stupid.
 
—
 
Dad’s so weird.  At least that’s what Mom keeps saying when he’s not in the room.
 
But Mom’s not much better.  She keeps reading stories to me that are really dumb.  If I hear another Grimm tale again I’m going to abort myself.
 
Month Three
 
I’m getting really sick of the view here.  There is no view.  I want to move.  Mom keeps eating weird food like ketchup and vanilla ice cream mixed together and Dad keeps singing to me.  Mom put earphones on her stomach today and made me listen to Mozart.  As soon as I can I’m going to kick her.
 
At least she stopped reading those stupid stories.  Instead she’s been talking about how weird Dad is and puking.  Oh that’s real fun.
 
They don’t want to know if I’m a boy or a girl.  Kind of funny.  Mom wants to call me some weird name like Jewel or Gemstone or something and Dad doesn’t.  He said he’ll buy her a necklace instead.
 
But he’s not much better.  He wants to name me Gweniveire if I’m a girl.
 
No boy names yet.  I am currently nameless.
 
Month Four
 
Ha ha!  Today I had revenge.  I kicked Mom.  But I guess they don’t realize I’m annoyed.  Mom and Dad just touched her stomach and said it was the cutest thing.
 
Cutest thing?  Just wait until she’s sleeping.  And I know she’ll wake Dad up.
 
—
 
Mom thinks she looks fat.  She’s pregnant.  Of course she looks fat.  But Dad told her she doesn’t and she looks beautiful.  Liar.  Even I know she’s fat and I can’t see her.
 
But at least she stopped eating ketchup and ice cream.  Olive and pineapple pizza now, which is weird but not as bad. 
 
—
 
Those two weird guys came over again today.  Mike and Tre.  Mike kept poking me and Tre tried to tell me a story about Mom and Dad and a concert and something.  Mom slapped him I think and so he told me a story about an evil clown and my dad.  He’s weird.
 
Month Five
 
I have no discovered that I should sleep during the day and kick at night.  If I’m going to be trapped here for four more months, then everyone’s going to be just as grumpy as I am.
 
Except Mike and Tre obviously.  I can’t kick them.  Tre told me another stupid story about something that eats fish and Dad running around in a cape and eating leaves.  I think Mike drew something on Mom’s stomach.
 
That’s screwed up.
 
—
 
I went to see my Grandma again today.  Dad’s mom I guess.  She kept poking me too.  Aren’t they worried they’ll give me brain damage or something.  Well, I kicked Grandma even though I probably shouldn’t have.  But she did what everyone else did and talked in baby talk to me.
 
It’s so degrading.
 
Month six
 
You know, some babies come out early.  I think I’m stuck in her until nine months are up though.  Mom’s been crying and screaming and cooking.  Cooking a lot.  It’s nasty tofu stuff that Dad likes and Mom decided isn’t that bad.
 
It’s gross.  But Tre took Mom out for steak last week and that was good.
 
—
 
I flew in a plane today.  Mom puked the whole time.  That sucked.  I’m never flying in a plane again.  I don’t think Dad really wants to either.  They’re renting a car and driving back.  Thank God.
 
Month Seven
 
This is getting really boring.  There’s only so many times you can redecorate a uterus.  And I’m sick of kicking Mom.  But I have to because if I don’t she’s worried I’m dead or something.
 
We went to some award show thing.  I guess Mom and I aren’t the only people Dad sings to.  Mom ate five banana splits after the show.
 
I wish I could puke.
 
Month Eight
 
I’ve been praying I’m a preemie.  God is dead.
 
Month Nine
 
Any day now.  Any day . . .
 
—
 
I’m waiting . . .
 
—
 
Hello?
 
—
 
That feels really weird.
 
—
 
Mom, would you stop screaming?
 
Out of the Uterus
 
It’s cold!  It’s cold!  Don’t hit me!  What’s wrong with you?  I’m suing you for malpractice.
 
Oh, God.  You’re my dad?  Why are you cutting me?  Freaks!  I was born into the Manson family!  Get me out of here!  Children’s services!
 
Oh, look.  It’s my Mom.  She’s pretty.  Her eyes are red.  I think she’s stoned.
 
I think Dad’s stoned, too.
 
Nice view.
 
—
 
Oh god.  Fucking weird, huh?
Posted by Dru at 19:03:21 | Permalink | No Comments »

Get your fucking Bible out of my judicial system!

I got really pissed today about this petition I saw online that was named ‘Stop Fags From Marrying’ or something like that.  So, I made a counter-petition.  I don’t really care if anyone even signs it, but I do want to post what I wrote on it up here.  I wrote a three page bill on this for American Government class Junior Year.  This is one of my most passionate political stands.

I don’t see why the country is working so hard to keep people from making loving commitments. When fifty percent of the country ends up divorced anyway, don’t you think we should let a little more love in?

People take the right to be married for granted.

The only real argument against same-sex marriage is religion. Separation of church and state. Get your fucking Bible out of my judicial system!

Sign this petition if you think everyone should have the right to marry, even those who don’t love the opposite gender.

After all, love is love.

 
People piss me off when they’re fucking stupid and say that all fags should die because God said so.  I fucking hate God in politics.  Please, he’s got religion.  Why does he have to be so fucking reedy?  Oh, that’s right.  His name is Jealous.  Stupid fucking prejudiced god biggot son of a bitch.  Oh, yeah.  That’s right.  I’m going to whatever hell it is Christian fundies believe in.  Whatever.
 
I guess it’s easier to born again than to grow up.
 
Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru, aka pissed at all the Bible thumping bastards
 
Posted by Dru at 03:50:59 | Permalink | No Comments »

Melodrama Queen & her Melodramatic Bullshit

Writing is keeping my mind off of this, so I’m going to keep going.

Melodrama Queen

i have no name, no face, no voice
my words do not exist
i have no life, i never was
my mother never gave birth to me

i have no emotions toward anyone
i fall apart for nothing, i feel not
i never cried as a child, if i ever was one
my mother never hugged me enough

and all this is bullshit of course
i mean, no one never exists because of hugs
it’s dumb and idiotic and a waste of space
to sound so poetic because i’m fucked up

fucked up fucked up fucked up
like my mind drifting away, waste of space
but i’m still here, i do exist
don’t buy my melodramatic bullshit

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru

Posted by Dru at 02:19:54 | Permalink | No Comments »

The Law Won . . . Hopefully Not a True Statement.

 

Oh God oh God oh God.  Oh Marilyn oh Marilyn oh Marilyn. 

I just got pulled over and the dude said he may or may not give me a ticket for reckless driving.  Shit shit shit shit shit.  I lied and told him I have a license.

I am begging on my fucking hands and knees for whatever power you guys pray to to pray for me to not a get a ticket.  I’m praying to Marilyn over and over as we speak.

Please please please.  I can’t fucking get a ticket.  I lied to the fucking sheriff for Christ’s sake.

Please please please pray to whoever for me guys.

Thanks.

Luverzz,
Dru

Posted by Dru at 00:55:50 | Permalink | No Comments »

She’s a Rebel, Vigilante! Missing link on the brink of DESTRUCTION!

  That’s Gerard.  Fucking hot, huh?

That was really dumb of my mom.  “If you need to go into town, there are the keys.”  Hehehe.  Now I need to go into town.  I want to get something to eat and check the mail and check the gas prices and see if anyone’s at the park . . .

I won’t waste too much gas, I promise. 

::Huge Smile::

Luvverzz,
Mrs. Billie Joe, aka Dru, aka the girl who should get her license (teehee)

Posted by Dru at 00:16:23 | Permalink | No Comments »