Lost in the raven-black night…behind the crimson door
You know the song “Dark Light” by H.I.M.? Well, if you don’t, you suck. Go illegally download it right now, or at least go here (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000ATT2QO/qid=1138581201/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-2626612-6501540?s=music&v=glance&n=5174) and scroll down and listen to the 30 second preview of it, then go here (http://display.lyrics.astraweb.com:2000/display.cgi?him..dark_light..dark_light) and read the lyrics.
Also, you can go to their official site here (http://www.heartagram.com) and listen to three songs: Wings of a Butterfly, Behind the Crimson Door, and Under the Rose.
I am currently completely addicted to H.I.M. I got really really really depressed the other night so I had to go onto the iTunes music store and download ‘Dark Light’ with my mom’s credit card without telling her.
I was seriously getting to the point where I wanted to slit my wrists. I’ve been hiding pills in my dresser. I don’t know what I’m going to use them for or if I even will. I have 90 mg of Buspar, 150 mg of Lamictal, and 2 of my mom’s muscle relaxers. I think they’re called Metocarb, but I’m not sure and I don’t know how much they are. I also have some other pill that I don’t know what the hell it is…but it’s a pill. (I’m sure of that much.)
I haven’t gotten on messenger in awhile either. And I took a break from INO. I’m just taking a break from life. I really really wanted this job the other day so I could get money and stuff and maybe talk to people I’m not related to or that I meet online…but now I don’t want to leave the house again.
And I don’t want to talk to my mom about it. I don’t want to talk to her about anything of importance. I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t know why the hell I get so fucked up, but I hate people worrying about it. They have lives of their own. The last thing anyone needs right now is to worry about me.
So I just won’t let them find out.
I hate keeping secrets.
Luvverzz,
Mrs. Vam, aka Dru
