Why do they always leave me? Why do people always leave? And they do it so quickly. Just one day they’re there and the next they’re gone. And they’re supposed to be there! They’re not supposed to leave. And it’s not like she was even a really good friend. But she got me all my really good friends. I know her. She’s not supposed to leave.
But THEY were good friends. They were my best friends and they all left me, too. Now I don’t even know who they are anymore. They just disappeared. I know their email addresses and that’s basically it. They used to be my best friends and now they’re reduced to email addresses.
And my family? My so-called family? I lived with them since I was in 1st grade and now what? I saw my dad on the 21st of May and the time before that was the day before Thanksgiving. And the last time I saw my stepmom before the 20th it was fucking SUMMER.
They leave. They just leave.
They go away and they don’t come back.
Sometimes I think it’s worse than death. Because when people die you know they’re not coming back. But when people leave you then you hang onto the chance that they MIGHT, they just MIGHT, come back. Even though you know it won’t happen, you have that stupid pathetic hope in the back of your head.
And maybe … maybe if you change. Or change what made them leave. Maybe if you change they’ll come back. Maybe … I don’t know.
But … THEY AREN’T SUPPOSED TO LEAVE!
They’re not supposed to leave me. Why do they leave me?
Do people really not understand why I’m so fucking afraid of them? I mean does it take a fucking rocket scientist to figure it out? I’m afraid of you not being there. Sometimes I feel stupid that I even took the chance.
I mean … what’s the point of investing yourself into something that can be taken away in a second?
What’s the point?
Why’s it matter?
Who cares anymore?
No one.
I hate them.
I hate them for leaving me.
I hate them.
